When it comes to hitchin' the boat up
Backin' down the ramp in my old truck
To find a bunch of logs to catch a bunch of hogs
Yeah, I wrote the book
Yeah, I wrote the book
If you wanna learn throw a curve right
Catch a clean up lookin' on a third strike
Talk a little smack while he's walkin' back
Yeah, I wrote the book
But there's one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't cuss and don't fight
Let the bottle turn you into a different man
But five don't do it every Friday night
Those get you into heaven letters in red
Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line
I'm a jack of all trades but man I gotta say
That's one book I didn't write
I met a good girl, she had her life straight
She said she loved that I was good at everything
One day she left me in a cloud of dust
'Cause I never was too good at pickin' up
The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't cuss and don't fight
Let the bottle turn you into a different man
But five don't do it every Friday night
Those get you into heaven letters in red
Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line
I'm a jack of all trades but man I gotta say
That's one book I didn't write
Yeah, the good Lord knows I need it
I didn't write it but I probably oughta read it
The one that lays by the lamp on the nightstand
One that says don't cuss and don't fight
Let the bottle turn you into a different man
But five don't do it every Friday night
Those get you into heaven letters in red
Ain't gettin' read enough to keep me on a straight line
I'm a jack of all trades but man I gotta say
That's one book I didn't write
That's one book I didn't write
That's one book I didn't write
